Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category

A Better Place

Mar
22

Clearly love conquers all
Others often short do fall
Much empathy is needed each day
Possibly humanity is the way
Altruism displays true tolerance
Spontaneity inspires true impulse
Such actions we all should copy
Inhabitants of this land we occupy
Only selflessness should reign supreme
Near perfect world and we’re the team!

This is my first shot at what’s called an acrostic poem.

Self De-Steemed

Nov
28

Cluttered mind and fucked up thinking;
Void to what’s going on around me.
Burned out, wasted away, empty and shallow;
Today is simply yesterday’s tomorrow.

No more comfort, and I no longer feel pain.
I no longer trust; people are all the same.
Their judgments and insults were never spared
So when I’m gone do you think they will care?

My soul is gone, and I feel not a thing.
I freely entertain what death may bring.
I’m constantly reaching for the dark light.
I’m numb to all around me day or night.

They made me hurt but now it is their turn
To feel pain in their hearts so they may learn
That being trapped in your own mind really fucking hurts,
But when you’re alone and trapped, the balloon will soon burst.

My prayers are no longer wasted and my tears have all dried up,
And I soon begin to take sips of the serum in death’s cup.
I close my heavy eyes, and I lay down my cluttered head
Because I know within a few moments I will be dead.

Nine Eleven

Sep
11

It was a day to remember when it came to an end
He was a husband, a father and a great friend.
He had led a hard life and pain filled his mind
And on this day, he decided to leave it all behind.

No one understood the pain that he had endured
And every day of his life all he wanted was a cure.
No cure was sufficient from chemicals to shock
He was trapped in his mind with no key to the lock.

The balloon was getting bigger; it was all he could take
And soon it would explode easing his mind of the ache.
He then disconnected himself and pushed everyone away
Always wanting to be alone for reasons he would not say.

Finally he saw those dark eyes and the outreached hand
And he knew in a few moments he had lived out the plan.
He opened the bottle and swallowed a few pills
He needed to relax before his blood he would spill.

He gathered his thoughts and steadied his hand
One shot to the head and soon his journey began.
His entire life flashed right before his eyes
As his last moments passed and he gave his last sigh.

He left behind much, but felt he gained much more
Because his feelings of pain were finally cured.
He only wanted to feel love and be happy one time
But happiness was rare in his fucked up mind.

Let him be thought of as someone who cared
Yet loving himself was something that was rare.
This day was one that he kept in great secrecy
As this was the finality of his self fulfilled prophecy!

Dance of the Rainbow

Sep
7

Blades of soft green grass dance in perfect harmony.
Swaying violets join in the choreography.
Red flutter-bys are making their final descent.
And the fluffy white billows are all but absent.

The vast blueness has been the stage for the long day.
But soon the huge black shroud will enter into play.
And the flaming orange sphere will soon be retired,
As it begins its long journey as it’s required.

The glowing yellow globe rises above the stage.
The performers departed tired but assuaged.
Distinct sounds from the chirps of brown hop-alongs,
And whispers from Mother’s breath make a lovely song.

Hours go by as the orange globe sleeps peacefully.
Non-stop work is part of her everyday reality.
Soon the bright orange sphere will journey back again.
Another day of light and warmth it must begin.

Day begins to break, and the colors again rise;
The blues, greens and yellows; even the flutter-bys.
Sunrise to sunset, the cycle never does end.
Oh how beautiful; Mother Nature, our best friend.

The Next Step

Sep
7

I clear my mind; I clear my head.
Yet I still have the thought that I want to be dead.
Free of sorrow and definitely free of pain,
Death is a way to end life’s pleasure less game.
What did I do to deserve all this strife?
All I ever wanted was a peaceful and joyous life.
Life’s wicked game has surely taken its toll on me.
Everyone says I have much to live for, but I just can’t agree.
Fear of death no longer holds a barrier in my way.
And I don’t know why I continue, but I don’t know why I stay.
Perhaps I’m trying to convince myself that things could be changed.
Maybe my priorities are out of order. Maybe my life needs to be rearranged.
What shall I do with these inevitable feelings inside?
I used to keep them bottled up, but they’re no longer feelings I hide.
Where do I go now? Where do I run to next?
This decision is much too complicated; For now I’m much too perplexed.

Bang and Get It Over With

Sep
2

The feel of the cold steel next to my face;
Was I really going to a new place?
The mighty projectile sat in its throne;
And few more moments then I will be gone.

I scribble a note on the pad at hand,
To let those know why I left this grim land.
I will miss you all, but I have to go
Because my pain just continues to grow.

I steadied my hand and lifted the gun.
BANG!  And life as I knew it was now done.
The loud blast of the metal pierced my ears.
It was the very last sound that I did hear.

My brain and blood burst out my head
The instant the bullet hit I was dead.
The blood poured out as did my pain
But I’d never have to hurt ever again.

The pain that I had was now gone, but so was I.
I know when they find me that they will surely cry.
My wife was the first person to find me that day;
She cried and said “It didn’t have to be this way!”

They came to carry my inanimate body out;
My parents were there and could only scream and shout.
I swear I could hear my daughter as I passed by,
“Mommy, I didn’t get to kiss Daddy goodbye.”

I’m sorry to those that I hurt and left behind;
I was finally able to find my peace of mind.
I hope you can forgive me for what I have done;
But I love you all dearly – goodbye everyone.

The Mental Cage

Sep
1

Black as night and in plain sight
My world is slowly coming to an end
As I look inside myself but see nothing else
But a tired soul full of nothingness.

My soul is almost empty
Yet my brain is quite full
Of thoughts that race through time
As I stand still and face the dance of life.

The substance races through my veins
As I awake to life’s same old games
The balloon continues to grow
Ever closer to the inevitable burst.

The sounds in my ear evokes such fear
As I amble about my desolate mind
As time passes the sounds grow silent
But sadly my thoughts become violent

I shake the doors and hear the chains
As I try to escape the dungeon I’m in
But my mind has its grip on me
I cannot evade the mental cage.

8/31/2009
~Digital Dovah~

On Fire

Aug
31

I saw the fire in her eyes
As she lay by my side
Like I have never seen before.

But something wasn’t right
As we lay there that night
Embracing each other as one.

I tried to explain
That we had much to gain
And that we should leave at once.

But she told me it was okay
To embrace her anyway
So I pushed her down to the floor.

I could feel her warm breath
Up against my bare chest
As we writhed together as one.

Our clothes were soaking wet
We were dripping with sweat
As we blindly crawled around.

Soon the place filled with smoke
And we both began to choke
As the firemen broke down the door.

The Sound of Silence

Aug
26

The sounds of life slowly become blurred
It’s as if my own speech becomes slurred
As the people around me sound very hushed
As I answer the questions posed very rushed.

The sounds are getting more muddled
My mind is becoming greatly befuddled
My head is cleared of each and every thought
Because with my soul silence has fought.

The battle was quick and rather deadly
I opened up my empty mind rather readily
To allow the silence to boldly take control
And force my mind to open like a black hole.

Drifting off into the vastness of space
You can see the blank look on my face
I’m asked “Ben, where did you go?”
Suddenly, I reappear and answer “I don’t know”.
As I battle with the sound of silence!

The Beach

Aug
24

Infinite grains positioned side by side;
The fluxing of the massive brine,
Continuously changing the grains’ shape.

The huge glowing ball from so high above
Casts its rays over the blue as the wind pushes and shoves
The ocean’s plethora of waves.

The large pallet, blemished by the visiting peoples
Is wiped clean in unpalatable intervals
By the fluctuating ebb.

Darkness approaches and peacefulness dominates,
And the calm, smooth flow is all that penetrates
As one walks along the beach.

All About You!

Aug
20

Your touch is warm and gentle as is a mother’s for her child.
Your words are never harsh but always gentle and mild.
Your ears are always open for my words of stress and despair.
These three things together gives you a heart full of care.
Your love is always faithful; not to mention never-ending,
The past years with you have been the best that my life is spending.
Just as wood kindles a fire, your love kindles my heart.
That gleaming, devoted look in your eyes assures me we’ll never part.
I wake up each morning thanking God for my many treasures,
And you are the diamond in my treasure box-now and forever.

A Growing Experience

Aug
20

Some time ago, when I first met you,
I never thought we’d have a friendship that would be so true.
There’s something special about what we possess;
Our friendship consists of love, trust, and truthfulness.
You often lift me up from grief and carry me away,
With words of wisdom and strength; you always know what to say.
When times get stressful, hectic, or even depressing,
You keep your chin up–a positive attitude you’re always professing.
You have taught me confidence and how to be me;
It doesn’t matter what others think–it’s what I want to be.
Thank you so much for the love you’ve given and shown.
And I thank God for a friendship that has continuously grown.

The Journey

Aug
19

My time drifting seems longer each day
I wonder if I’ll ever make it to that destination
My chosen destination is of darkness and no light
This is where I shall find my emancipation.

The journey has been long and full of pain
Only blinded by those you once thought enamored you;
The falsehoods and fallacies are caused by lack of shrewdness
But who am I to evoke consequences to those many or few?

The consequences of life consume every breath of mine
Each beat of my heart shrieks for the pure juice of life
Yet my body only has bleakness and loneliness to offer.
What could ever be the root of this desolation and strife?

The screams that I hear are not of fright
But of the daily painful transactions of my soul
The energy I have is spent caring for my offspring
And I pray that she will never see how life has taken its toll.

My soul and my mind have astoundingly aged
Yet my body is physically where it should be
The demons of life have eaten away
So that all that remains are my painful memories.

My soul is so empty and my body so cold
My feelings have frozen in time
What can I do and where can I go
To change my heart and unmold my soul?

The last breath and the last beat of my heart
Cannot come with the quick speed I am seeking
So the daily game of life continues
What shall I do? What can I do for this world to keep me?

Dreams should be pleasant and engage peaceful sleep
My dreams are pleasant yet call me to the dark
The dark is a world where sleep is all that is offered
For this final journey is near on which I will soon disembark.

Past, Present and Future

Aug
17

The heart is like a canvass and love is like a pen
My heart has been scribbled upon time and time again.
With bright colors of love and the gentle strokes of time
You began painting my heart to make it truly shine.

The past was full of memories both of delight and despair
But we made the journey together because we knew what was near
We were doubted and tested by those who didn’t believe
That the feelings we shared together were quite genuine indeed.

Finally the day came where we were united as one
Husband and wife to live together until our days were done.
Time has tested our vows but love always shows the way
Because we always are able to start fresh and begin a new day.

The canvass has grown as we now paint as one
And we’ve welcomed a new artist whose life has just begun.
She has added many colors beyond our wildest dreams
Watching her grow for the love of life is plenty to make us beam.

The beauty of love should last a lifetime and I vow to you mine
I believe our love is invulnerable and will stand the test of time.
The past was quite a journey; in the present we’re learning more
But I promise to you on this day our future is safe and secure!

The Warmness of Transience

Aug
15

Like the vast depths of space,
So are my days filled with turmoil and haste.
Just as all dreams come to an end,
Ironically, it seems as though mine never begin.

Grasping for life and struggling from overwhelming despair
Sometimes it feels like I’m gasping for air.
Everyday of my life is as dark and bleak as the night,
Images of death play in my head easily with no fright.

Death is audacious and extremely bold.
Will I live and will I grow old?
Dark as night and cold as ice
The cards life deals are not always nice.

I hope I die without all of the pain
Because life is but a meaningless game.
As I sit and contemplate with tears in my eyes,
I wonder if I’ll be missed if I should die.

The pain is like a blade cutting through my heart,
How much more can I take before I fall apart?
If living was something to live forward to,
I wouldn’t be sitting here wondering what to do.

I wish I could explain the way I’m feeling.
These daily doses are becoming less appealing.
My head spins around as I stay in place,
Wondering if death is what I will chase.

I wonder if any of this will ever end,
Or if mortality will become my new friend.
Should I stay or should I die?
I guess for now I’ll just sit and cry.

The Demon Within

Aug
13

Another Original by Yours Truly…

For so long the demon slept, but just recently it awoke.
It’s looking for something to eat or just my soul to choke.
Why can’t he just go away and let me be?
Why must he drain my inside and fill me with he?
I moan and I groan and I battle him within;
But sometimes he overpowers me and it is he who wins.
This fight for my soul is long and quite painful;
I view myself in the mirror and the scene is quite disdainful.
Blood-thirsty is he yet life thirsty ’tis I;
His demonic mastery overpowers me and causes me to cry.
As the battle continues, so does my life.

My Guiding Lights

Aug
12

This poem was written for my parents…

You’re always just a phone call away
With words of wisdom you know just what to say;
You ease the pain and create much cheer,
And because of that life’s little fears
Seem so small and benign.

You’re there for me until the end of time,
You are the strength I know I can always find.
You’re my guidance when life takes a swing;
Or when I’m down and don’t care about a thing
You lift me high with joy.

I have been blessed with many treasures
But none so special as you, My Parents.
Your absolute love for me has been shown
Through my life’s years as I have grown
Into what I am today.

I’m proud to say that I am your own;
Created from the same love I’m shown
Each and every day of my life.
I thank God for you every night
For blessing me with YOU!

Why???

Jul
30

A poem of love by yours truly….

Sometimes at night, when I look to the sky,
I start thinking of you and then ask myself, why?

Why do I love you? I think and smile,
Because I know the list could run on for miles.

The whisper of your voice, the warmth of your touch,
So many little things that make me love you so much.

The way you support me, and help with my emotions,
The way that you care and show such devotion.

The way that your kiss, fills me with desire,
And how you hold me with the warmth of a blazing fire.

The way your eyes shine when you look at me,
Lost with you forever is where I want to be.

The way that I feel when you’re by my side,
A sense of completion and overflowing pride.

The dreams that I dream, that all involve you,
The possibilities I see and the things we can do.

How you finish the puzzle that lies inside my heart,
How that deep in my soul, you are the most important part.

I could go on for days, telling of what I feel,
But all you really must know is my love for you is real.

Comfortably Numb

Jul
29

Slowly drifting away to try to touch the light
This is what I do when I lie in bed at night
A precious little treasure is what’s keeping me here
As darkness offers a hand and death is surely near.

I’m comfortable yet yearning for a new life
Uncomfortable and churning from all the strife
Sadistic thoughts plague my mind
As I’m urged to leave everything behind.

Flying high from the medicine man’s gifts
Then I hit a low as life makes a shift
Back to reality and back to the ground
As I lift myself up from another rebound.

Submit to the realms that life has prepared
Be joyous of these treasures that have been shared
Winning or losing, it is all just the same
Being comfortably numb helps ease the pain.

Daddy’s Princess

Jul
23

This was a poem that I wrote for my little girl one Christmas after she was born…

DADDY’S PRINCESS

There is nothing as special as the birth of a child

And there’s nothing as precious as a toothless smile.

A bundle of joy and full of life and bliss

She’s daddy’s little girl; she’s my beautiful Princess.

Delight from something as simple as a tiny grin

Watching her move about and taking all of life in.

There is nothing as touching when she screeches with delight

Wide brown eyes, outstretched arms and her love burning bright.

So much love and protection that I want to bring,

So that my dear Princess will have to worry about nothing.

Unconditional love, big hopes and dreams I have for you

I will always be here for you whatever life takes you through.

When you are adult and full grown, I hope you use the things I’ve shown.

Please pass them on with lots of love when you have a child to call your own.

I know someday like a butterfly you will be grown and take flight.

Please always remember my dear Princess God will forever shine his light.

I have told you I love you everyday of your life,

Always remember you are my love, my Princess and my life!